Out of the strain of the Doing, Into the peace of the Done.

So as most of you will have reasoned by now, I am in fact back in the UK. The Blog has indeed come to a natural end and as I predicted would be the case, I have cured AIDS and saved all the children in Africa..... Job done!

So, thank you all for reading and, I leave you with the happy news that, as of last week, all of my businesses have turned a profit except for my chickens which are a slightly longer term investment and I don't expect them to move into financial gain for another three to four months which is in accordance with my prescribed plans.

Now I am back in the UK I am able to upload much larger files so for you final viewing pleasure I leave you with some footage of the shootings I was witness to in Arusha.. Enjoy. Sadly the police got a bit upset about my filming so I had to stop but here is what I managed to get;

I also wanted to say a big "thank you" to everybody who has supported the cause over the last few months and I hope I can buy you all a drink at some point to express my thanks personally. If anybody would like more information about the charity 'Future Sense Foundation' or is interested in doing a mercy mission of their own please don't hesitate to get in touch and I'll do my best to give you some pointers. Thanks again. Damian.

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'

I was just wondering.....

...how's work?

Three things are necessary for the salvation of man: to know what he ought to believe; to know what he ought to desire; and to know what he ought to do.

..and I ought to be doing exactly what I am doing right now!

I am sitting on a cliff overlooking the Indian Ocean eating a full English as I type this. Here are a couple of shots of my accomodation.

This charity work can be tough!

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

I have, more or less, finished the grant rounds for my small businesses now and I plan to clear up the outstanding administrative tasks whilst sitting in a beach-side bar in Zanzibar over the next few days. I will try and post a picture of the Indian ocean and a nice white beach just so all those who read this from their office can appreciate their is something else you can be doing...

In the meantime here is a picture of some rhinos that I saw:

...and a hippo

We surrender!

I have been force-fed a large slice of humble pie by my German friend. Well done Germany you deserved the victory even though the referee was clearly on your side.

Ich bin ein Berliner

Here's a picture of a happy German. Take a good look because it may be the last happy one you see for some time.....

Just one more thing

......you've got to love Colombo and I have to admit to being party to painting a live rat as well as the remand centre yesterday.

Now, before you call the African equivalent of the *RSPCA you may recall that the body count was already standing at two humans and a lizard (I forgot to mention the lizard in yesterdays post) that the children took great delight in dismembering when it had the misfortune to venture into their small concrete enclosed exercise yard.

The rat in question was living in one of the beds and whilst myself and some friends were working on sprucing the place up a little we disturbed it from its cosy home. My personal view on rats is that they are disease bearing vermin and I wouldn't want it living in my bed so I think it got away very lightly with just being painted blue instead of being brutally exterminated which is exactly what would have happened if we had let the children have their way with it.

I feel my conscience is mildly salved in admitting my complicit guilt in this animal cruelty but I would also like it noted that the body count at the remand centre remained at two humans and a lizard and the rat will live to fight another day even if he is feeling a little blue!

*Royal Society of Protection of Cruelty to Animals

Crime and Punishment

Today I finished renovating the children's prison that I promised to dedicate some money to. The conditions are, as you would expect in most countries outside Europe, dreadful. I had the place fumigated before I started the painting work and replaced the roof tiles that harbour rats and other unpleasant creatures and I plan to get mosquito nets for all the 'guests' languishing at the Tanzanian governments pleasure.

The children got very excited yesterday because two robbers were shot directly outside the facility and they had a birds eye view of the action when they stood on their bunk-beds and looked out of the windows. Hundreds of curious Tanzanian people gathered to witness the aftermath of the blood bath. There were a lot of shots fired and I am sure both robbers were killed. Hopefully it will be a lesson to all the budding criminals in the prison that crime does not always pay but, somehow I doubt it...... Also I got some great video footage of the action which is a bonus!

Apart from a couple of shootings and my continued visitations to try and make the child prisoners lives a little brighter there is not too much to report. I have my final meeting with all of my budding entrepreneurs on Monday and the end of my work on the ground here is now in sight and I am getting excited by the prospect of a little break in Dar Es Salaam and Zanzibar late next week which will involve a little sightseeing, some swimming and a lot of cold beverages. I have also met a great English couple who are going to be working in Zanzibar as dive instructors so hopefully I will get some free diving instruction too!

Have a good weekend.

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. Larry Hardiman

Today's post is dedicated to a military man who's career was ended all too abruptly this week and to Rolling Stone magazine who have won at least one more subscriber for this cracking article....


http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/17390/119236

...and this has to be the best comment regarding the world cup result I have seen so far:

"This World Cup is working out like WW2 - France have forfeited, the USA turned up late, and England are left to fight the Germans!"

My favourite animal is a steak.

Yesterday I changed out of my Volunteers hat, donned my Tourist hat, and took the first week-day off since I arrived in Africa. I don't feel too guilty about my lack off commitment to the African people because I have probably worked harder out here (and I have had to pay for the privilege!) than I ever did when I was actually getting paid to work in any of my previous professional incarnations ....also I got many of the obligatory tourist photos under my belt whilst in Ngorangoro on Safari.

 Ngorangoro is the largest intact volcanic crater in the world and is described by many as the 8th Wonder. It is about 100sq miles in area and about 12 miles in diameter and is located just West of the Rift Valley. Ngorangoro boasts a plethora of flora and fauna and I was extremely lucky to see a broad selection of what is on offer for the typical tourist on Safari. Below is a selection of some of the wildlife I was fortunate enough to get close to.

 I haven't uploaded the rhino or the cheetah yet but, I did see them, honestly...

There's nobody here but us chickens...

We have chickens!

Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.

A big thank you to Ben, Drew, Jon, Brian B. and most of all Mat O.  for your charity and generosity in getting another laptop and helping to *deliver it to African communities who really need this kind of help.

The title of today post is a quote from Albert Camus who, for one reason or another, has been featuring rather heavily in my life in the last few years. I have a friend who owns multiple copies of L'etranger all in different languages and, to his credit, I believe he has read it in at least three. There was some discussion between us about whether this is simply to impress girls and whether it actually would have this effect? So, if there are any single ladies who are impressed by this please let me know so I can settle this debate once and for all (and pass on your details to my good, Albert Camus-loving, pal.....).

I am still waiting for my chickens to arrive but, come hell or high water, I will have them nesting in their respective coops by the end of this week! I have also completed a stock take on all-but-one of my grant recipients and am very pleased to report that all my businesses, apart from the chickens which are yet to materialise, and a lady that has been ill for the last ten days, have shown signs of growth since their conception and one or two of them are looking very encouraging indeed.

Camus was once asked by a friend which he preferred, football or the theatre? Camus is said to have replied, "Football, without hesitation." ...and this from a Nobel prize-winning author! I think he would turn in his grave he could see the type of people that play professional football today.
 


*It has not arrived yet but I have my fingers crossed.

The day is for honest men, the night for thieves.

Euripides never spoke a truer word I don't think..?

I went out on Friday evening with a couple of friends and when we got back to the hotel it was discovered that money and a laptop were missing from one of our rooms. The keys had been left at reception when we went out so it had to be one of the hotel staff, or if it was one of the guests they were conscientious enough to lock the door once the theft was complete and very kindly return the key to the receptionist, which I find highly unlikely.

The computer was due to be delivered to a very remote area in Tanzania where it would have been put to good use in a pretty desperate community. Obviously this is not going to happen now.... I confronted the manager of the hotel about the missing computer and his only response was one of complete apathy and to pretend that suddenly he had lost the ability to speak English. My response to this was to wave wads of cash around the police station and have the entire hotel staff arrested. When all the staff were languishing in the cells, on the advice of the Tanzanian detective, I took the opportunity to check myself out of the hotel.

Whilst neither of these actions led to the computer being returned it did make me feel a whole lot better and slightly more wealthy as I am refusing to pay the outstanding bill at the hotel until I get my computer back.

I learnt three valuable lessons from this incident;

1. Don't leave your room key at hotel reception.
2. Throwing money at your problems out here really gets results.
3. Never stay at Monjes C and always have a backup hotel!

I am currently staying in a more upmarket establishment, not because I can afford it because I can't but, because it is going to be extremely difficult to find a hotel that was as cheap and as the one I was in (maybe that's because they make all their money from stealing their guests possessions!!).

Other than this and the fact that the US managed a draw against the UK in the World Cup not too much else for me to report.

Below is a picture of some mountains and a cow I took this morning.

Football..........

My Tanzanian helpers have had to attend the funeral of their neighbour today so I am taking some down time and will be watching the first game of the world cup this afternoon after a leisurely day mooching around Arusha. Sadly this does mean I have to work tomorrow but, I should be finished in time for the *football match.

There is an enormous amount of excitement in Tanzania surrounding the World Cup and I am looking forward to England's first match against our American friends. Looking at the US record of "friendly fire" mishaps I am hoping they will score an own goal in the opening minutes! Looking at England's historic propensity to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in this event I am keeping my fingers crossed that England can come out of tomorrows game with at least a draw but, I am not putting any money on it.

It will be very embarrassing to lose. There are an awful lot of American citizens in Tanzania, who are here preparing for their Ivy League schools it would seem, and I know they will be only too pleased to, quite literally, beat the Limeys at their own game.

I leave you with a quote which, although it is from an American sportsman (who I will refrain from naming and shaming), is universally appropriate in my view;

"Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A Genius is somebody like Norman Einstein"


Have a good weekend.

*For US readers; I am not talking about the form of rugby you play in which the players seem too delicate to compete without armour and have stop playing every 10 seconds or so for a rest.... 

What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?

There has been some interesting political discussion going on around me as the elections, here and in some of the neighbouring countries, draw closer. Gandhi certainly sums things up better than I ever could, and it is asking for trouble to express strong domestic political views in a land that is not your own, so I will not venture an opinion on African politics right now.... However, there are historic and current issues here that lend credence to the idea that, Africa's problems are far from over and I hope the next few months building up to the elections do not bring any extra problems with them.

I saw something extremely encouraging today that shows Non-Government Organisations (NGO) can make life better in the countries they try to help even if the actual government don't. I have come to realise a lot of time and money is wasted by very well-meaning NGOs all over the world and it is not at all easy to carry out effective work. I went to the Food Water Shelter project this morning and saw how an Australian organisation have decided to help orphans and local people alike who are in dire need of assistance.

The project has bought some land, built sustainable housing and developed farming techniques to feed the people living there. They have some livestock, breed fish in ponds they have constructed, use solar energy and their own supply of methane gas, made from the animal dung, to do the cooking as well as having composting lavatory's. A tree huggers paradise I hear you cry, and yes it is, but, many orphans, adults and the local community have benefited from the work of this NGO and it has restored a little of my faith in these types of organisations (even, in spite of the fact they welcome and encourage those pyjama-wearing, unwashed, tie-died, Western hippie-types we all love to hate so much).

I leave you with a couple of pictures including a tree, a few orphans and an aquifer under construction.

Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.

It has been a busy few days and my chicken coops are finally complete. All that remains is to buy the birds and my three chicken businesses are up and running.... I just hope there isn't a bout of bird flu any time soon or some such chicken eradicating epidemic tearing through East Africa. Barring this type of uncontrollable variable I am very hopeful that the ladies who will be looking after the chickens will be successful and at least for now they seem eager to embark on their journeys into chicken husbandry.

Below is a picture of one of my chicken coops.....

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

Fortunately there is an abundant supply of good beer in Arusha and I have not been forced to live on food and water alone but, if you want a nice glass of wine the struggle begins....

This week has been relatively uneventful, so far, although my first chicken coop is now very nearly complete and work on the second coop was started this morning which is the most momentous occurrence since my last update on here.

I embarked on a hike up into the hills outside of Ngaramtoni to see one of my grant recipients, earlier in the week, and was rewarded with an amazing look at some of the truly spectacular scenery on offer in Tanzania. Because it is rainy season here it is very green and the banana trees that seem to grow everywhere are advertising their sweet fruit all over the hillsides and fields, the grass is long and lush and the cows and goats are making the most of this short-lived natural bounty. The deep and barren gorges that scar this otherwise uninterrupted carpeting of greenery, are a reminder that in a couple of months the whole area will be stained a muddy brown as the grass dries in the summer-sun and the livestock will have to rely more and more on human assistance to find good grazing.

I will not be here to witness this transformation and I have been in Tanzania in a period of harvest when food is plentiful and the heat is not nearly as stifling as I suspect it will be by the start of August. Conditions here are basic for most of the local inhabitants but, I think, this time of year provides more relief from the basic discomforts than any other period of a twelve month cycle. To really take in the full feeling of Tanzania I will have to come back in the middle of *summer and experience the most challenging climatic conditions, imposed on the flora and fauna of this country, by its geographical positioning. I know I won't be doing it this year but, the place must be growing on me because I really would like to come back *again in the summer months.

Below is a picture taken from hole 3 at the Arusha Gymkhana Golf Club. Like I said.... it's tough out here.

Have to go now as I don't want to keep the tennis coach waiting.


*The grass isn't so high and there is a better chance of seeing the animals on Safari too!
*(see above) If only to see more animals than during the rainy season.

I fought the law and the law won.

Today will go down in history as one in which the world witnessed scenes of murdering aggression in international waters towards a "freedom flotilla". I note that in London hundreds have marched on Downing St. and the Israeli embassy, already, and had I been in the UK right now I think I would have been inclined to join them!

Today will also be marked, in my personal history at least, as the day I fought off my own internationally condemned aggressor (no matter which country you visit); The Police.

As I have mentioned before any names you read here and any photos you see, of individuals, have been changed to protect the innocent but, even with this being the case, I am unable to mention the nature of my brush with the law at present. Let's just say money changed hands and I think I came off rather badly from the whole affair. I don't know what inspired the title for The Clashs' memorable song about their meeting with the rozzers but, what I do know is that putting up a fight is often futile and always *expensive.

So, armed with this knowledge, I thought I would forgo the fighting and futility and move straight on to the expense. I have been well schooled in bribery techniques for East Africa and it it's not the first continent I have paid additional "tax" in but, the fact remains, it is still a very tricky and unpredictable situation and a certain amount of trepidation occupies the psyche when you reach for your wallet to "help out" the local constable.

Of course everything worked out and I am not writing this from a cell but, I can't help feeling hard done by or, even more galling, wipe the memory of the grinning copper as he pocketed my cash.


 I think next time I am taking the other advice I have been given; Punch and run.





O yes.... here's a picture of a mountain and an orphanage.

*Please refer to my younger brother for more info (hi Dan).

Good things come to those who wait.

For the benefit of those who are not regular followers, I am now meant to be settling in to African family life at a home-stay just outside of Arusha after the premature departure from my last family home was necessitated by unfortunate personal circumstances. However, for a number of reasons, this has not occurred....

Firstly the location of my potential new home was not ideal, being on the opposite side of the town from the village I have been working in, making for a lengthy commute every day. Secondly, the condition of the roads around the latest proposed home-stay dictates that a boat is required to access the place during *rainy season and thirdly, the name of the matriarch in the home-stay is Mama Minge.

Because of a mass gathering of teachers from all over Northern Tanzania, every cheap hotel in town is full this week, and I have been forced into a more upmarket existence. I am currently residing in a very European looking place that charges the exorbitant sum of US$30 per night which is roughly three times as much as I will pay, in the slightly more down-market place only 200 yards up the road, once the teachers have left. It's not all bad though, I have an executive suite with two bathrooms (still not sure why they thought the room needed two bathrooms) and a **reception room to receive guests. There is also a reasonably good restaurant on the ground floor with a fully stocked bar which I have, of course, taken advantage of. So my long wait to meet my new family is over and instead I have to settle with hot water and beer on tap. Life's a bitch sometimes.

My life of Western pleasures comes to an abrupt end tomorrow when the teachers leave town and the rest of my stay will be lived-out in the less salubrious surrounding of Monjes C which more than qualifies for the category of "down-market".

Most of the small businesses in Ngaramtoni that I have been overseeing are beginning to commence trading using the administered grants. I am pleased to say that there has only been one worrying development that has come to light thus far. It appears that one of the grant recipients may have done a runner with the money I provided but, if this is the only hiccup of this nature that I encounter with my little group of budding entrepreneurs then I will be more than happy.

The big news in Ngaramtoni this week was a murder. One of the locals fell out with his neighbour and decided the best way to resolve the dispute was to bury a knife in him and jump on the first bus out of there. It was the talk of the town all week but, I am sad to say it made very little impression on me and I maintain it is probably safer in Ngaramtoni than in most areas of London. Coming form a city where it is impossible to pick up a newspaper without reading about a shooting, stabbing or violent mugging I actually feel relatively safe around here!

I am now roughly half way through my time in Tanzania and the place is growing on me. I am even contemplating writing a glowing reference for Arusha on the Lonely Planet/Rough Guide web sites which will be a in stark contrast to most of the comments about the place. It really is a fairly nice town and I fail to understand why everybody gives Arusha such a hard time.

Must dash now my G&T has arrived.

*It is currently rainy season.
**Completely devoid of any furniture but spacious enough to throw a good party in.

P.s. Here's a picture of a smiling orphan for you at one of the partner projects I visited this week.

 

"In the fight between you and the world, back the world." Frank Zappa

I write this from the (dis)comfort of my hotel room.

Yes, the world has conspired to scupper my best laid plans and I am yet to make it to my new home. I am told that a taxi will be here to pick me up in one hour but, I am not holding my breath.... I have no idea where my new family live or who they are but, I do know they are somewhere just outside the city/town of Arusha.

The aid projects in Ngaramtoni have really started moving along now and despite the very slow pace of things out here I believe (don't quote me on this!) that all the businesses I am trying to start will be up and running by the end of this week.

I am told the rainy season is ending now and that the temperature will start to rise drastically in June. It is already warm enough here, as far as I am concerned, and I don't think I have encountered any buildings, bar the 4 top hotels here, that have air-conditioning so I am not looking forward to the sweat-inducing season just around the corner. The locals are wearing jumpers and coats at the moment with the average temperature being at least 26 degrees which for them is cold. I can tell you with great authority that deodorant is not something Tanzanians use a great deal which I know will make the already cramped and smelly bus journeys, I have to take no more cramped but, a lot more odorous once it starts really hotting up here. Joy.

Baring no relevance at all to today's post I leave you with a picture of a couple of new friends and the view from my hotel;

P.s. Did I mention I have found a golf course!

Mourning has broken

It looks like my stint in hotel accommodation is over and I will be placed with another Tanzanian family tomorrow which, I am sure, will be another culturally broadening experience.

Since I last posted I have been urinated on by monkeys, (with an attempted but, unsuccessful, poohing thrown in for good measure) played a cracking round of golf and seen a large underground birthing chamber constructed by a dog (see pictures).

Tomorrow I will be buying materials to make chicken coops and stock for some of the businesses I am trying to get off the ground. I remain slightly frustrated at the slow pace at which things move out here but, I have an amazing solution that cures all these problems..... beer!

"Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all." William Goldman.

Today's post is devoted to the very sad passing of the father in the house I have been living in.

I write this from my hotel room which will be my home for the next few days at least...

Normal service will resume after a short period of mourning.

A day in the life...

08:30 : Wake up as eldest son in house blares out African pop music.
08:31 : Contemplate how upset this unexpected alarm call makes me.
08:32 : Back to sleep.
09:00 : Extremely annoying ring tone-alarm goes off.
09:05 : Collect water for shower, shower, shave etc., etc....
09:45 : Leave house to catch daladala (see previous posts for more detailed description of over crowded death trap/bus).
09:46-10:00 : Walk to main road with dozens of people, young and old, constantly reminding you that you are white (in case you forget I suppose?).
10:30 : Arrive on Sokoine Rd. (central Arusha).
10:30-11:30 : Buy Indian made football (rip-off at £22.50!!!!!). Meet former volunteer from *remand centre and current volunteer. Arrive at remand centre after short walk from town centre.
11:31-13:30 : Meet Governor of remand centre and the current residents. Talk about how life could be better for all concerned and persuade fellow volunteer she should spend some time in the prison fantastic teaching environment.
13:31-16:00 : Walk back to central Arusha to posh hotel, buy beer, sit by pool and contemplate how terrible life is for some people. Meet more volunteers and talk about how to improve life for aforementioned 'some people'.
16:00-16:30 : Walk to office, meet more charity workers, go to local street bar to drink more beer and discuss how lucky we are and how nice beer is, ways to give beer to the poor and transfer luck.
16:31-17:00 : Witness car pull up, two distressed men being forced out of the car into the back of the very bar I am sitting in. Listen to two grown men cry and beg whilst being physically beaten.
17:01-17:30 : Pretend it's not happening. Watch one of the current assailants go back to the car and produce specially prepared instruments of torture to further beat victims with. Listen to further beatings being administered and try not listen to, assumed, cries for mercy.
17:31-18:30 : Learn from waitress that two men being beaten were thieves and this is 'local justice'. Discuss merits of such a justice system and what it might bring to the UK. Get taxi, head home.
18:31-Present : Buy water from local kiosk. Talk with loved ones. Write blog...

*A secure unit where either prisoners, already serving their terms are held but, more commonly, where those still awaiting trial are contained.

Trumpet in a herd of elephants; crow in the company of cocks; bleat in a flock of goats.

I've been trying to go native but, as I have probably mentioned before, it is very hard to convince anybody here that you are anything but, a Western tourist, who needs to be relieved of their money as quickly as humanly possible, and blending in is not really an option.

My host family took me to a goat restaurant last night and the eldest daughter led me directly to the kitchen, past dozens of pairs of curious eyes all wandering what the Mzungu is doing in their favourite eatery, so I could choose the meat for myself...

Not exactly the Ritz but, then I never thought it would be and by god, it tasted great!

You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.

This week has beckoned the end of a chapter in my time in Arusha, a milestone has been reached and the rag-tag team of hopeful entrepreneurs, I have had a hand in assembling, training and pushing into the commercial environment of Ngaramtoni, are ready to prove their worth. 


The first weeks trading figures will be available the week after next and the result of my efforts out here will be worryingly easy to scrutinise. I feel a certain amount of pressure to show positive results, not only for myself of course but, for the grant recipients and their families who are in such desperate need of a basic income to enable them to at least subsist and if they are lucky afford the occasional luxury like sugar cane or a new piece of cloth to fashion clothing from.


The training consisted of teaching very basic profit and loss principles, accounting practices, record keeping and ideas on how to make their individual businesses attractive to potential customers. Over the two days I spent in front of the 12 or so people, gathered in a local church to listen to our attempts at equipping them with the tools necessary for success , I realised that to get these people excited and fired-up is almost impossible, with a total lack of any recognisable signs of excitement or enthusiasm on show. I am told this is a cultural trait and that all those setting sail on this journey of commercial discovery are hugely passionate "on the inside". I just hope that it's true.


The church we used as our training centre was on the grounds of a local school and the children were delighted to see *Wzungu and myself and my fellow Mzungu friend were mobbed upon arrival.

 Bob Marley is a very popular figure in Tanzania and this week it would have been his birthday if he were still in the land of the living. This would-be occasion is marked here by a weekend of Bob tribute acts performing at most of the bars and hotels in town as well as by Bob-themed evenings being put on at every opportunity. Tonight I am looking forward to a large helping of Mr Marley's contribution to music and to witnessing some of the unique local dancing styles on show. I will try and get some photos but, the locals can get pretty tetchy about this and usually demand money before any photos can be taken.

Have a good weekend.....

This week I have mostly been.....

....working on my T-shirt tan!

Caught sight of myself in a hotel mirror at the weekend and was shocked to see I am still the archetypal pasty Englishman from the neck down. I am now condemned to a life without entering public swimming facilities unless I am either fully clothed or I wish to be an object of ridicule for the locals and Westerners alike.

I hope the photo doesn't offend too many of your sensibilities. If anybody has a better photographic representation of this phenomena I will gladly post it up here upon receipt... you may take that as a challenge and please remember names are being changed to protect the incontinent.

I also hear Britain has a new Prime Minster or is it Prime Ministers????

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

Those of you that know me well will appreciate that I am, in fact, fundamentally lazy. This is clearly a non-genetic affliction as most of my immediate relatives are extremely proactive and driven. I am trying to cure myself of this unfortunate trait but, I don't think, Tanzania is going to help because they only seem to have two speeds here; slow and slower.

More than one person has requested that I put up the obligatory smiling African children photos, so in a bid to please my adoring fans mother, here are some shots of my working day. This also means I don't have to think about what prose I bore you to death with this evening and serves my dilatory nature perfectly.

Et voilà,

 OK, they're the 'playing in the rubbish dump' kids rather than the 'smiling African' ones but, hey...

.....there you go.

 The goat is especially for my good friend Ben.W. because he loves them so much (..and I can't find anything that comes even close to the filth he used to send to my work email so a goat will have to suffice...come to think I'm sure one of the emails did feature a goat!).