I fought the law and the law won.

Today will go down in history as one in which the world witnessed scenes of murdering aggression in international waters towards a "freedom flotilla". I note that in London hundreds have marched on Downing St. and the Israeli embassy, already, and had I been in the UK right now I think I would have been inclined to join them!

Today will also be marked, in my personal history at least, as the day I fought off my own internationally condemned aggressor (no matter which country you visit); The Police.

As I have mentioned before any names you read here and any photos you see, of individuals, have been changed to protect the innocent but, even with this being the case, I am unable to mention the nature of my brush with the law at present. Let's just say money changed hands and I think I came off rather badly from the whole affair. I don't know what inspired the title for The Clashs' memorable song about their meeting with the rozzers but, what I do know is that putting up a fight is often futile and always *expensive.

So, armed with this knowledge, I thought I would forgo the fighting and futility and move straight on to the expense. I have been well schooled in bribery techniques for East Africa and it it's not the first continent I have paid additional "tax" in but, the fact remains, it is still a very tricky and unpredictable situation and a certain amount of trepidation occupies the psyche when you reach for your wallet to "help out" the local constable.

Of course everything worked out and I am not writing this from a cell but, I can't help feeling hard done by or, even more galling, wipe the memory of the grinning copper as he pocketed my cash.


 I think next time I am taking the other advice I have been given; Punch and run.





O yes.... here's a picture of a mountain and an orphanage.

*Please refer to my younger brother for more info (hi Dan).

Good things come to those who wait.

For the benefit of those who are not regular followers, I am now meant to be settling in to African family life at a home-stay just outside of Arusha after the premature departure from my last family home was necessitated by unfortunate personal circumstances. However, for a number of reasons, this has not occurred....

Firstly the location of my potential new home was not ideal, being on the opposite side of the town from the village I have been working in, making for a lengthy commute every day. Secondly, the condition of the roads around the latest proposed home-stay dictates that a boat is required to access the place during *rainy season and thirdly, the name of the matriarch in the home-stay is Mama Minge.

Because of a mass gathering of teachers from all over Northern Tanzania, every cheap hotel in town is full this week, and I have been forced into a more upmarket existence. I am currently residing in a very European looking place that charges the exorbitant sum of US$30 per night which is roughly three times as much as I will pay, in the slightly more down-market place only 200 yards up the road, once the teachers have left. It's not all bad though, I have an executive suite with two bathrooms (still not sure why they thought the room needed two bathrooms) and a **reception room to receive guests. There is also a reasonably good restaurant on the ground floor with a fully stocked bar which I have, of course, taken advantage of. So my long wait to meet my new family is over and instead I have to settle with hot water and beer on tap. Life's a bitch sometimes.

My life of Western pleasures comes to an abrupt end tomorrow when the teachers leave town and the rest of my stay will be lived-out in the less salubrious surrounding of Monjes C which more than qualifies for the category of "down-market".

Most of the small businesses in Ngaramtoni that I have been overseeing are beginning to commence trading using the administered grants. I am pleased to say that there has only been one worrying development that has come to light thus far. It appears that one of the grant recipients may have done a runner with the money I provided but, if this is the only hiccup of this nature that I encounter with my little group of budding entrepreneurs then I will be more than happy.

The big news in Ngaramtoni this week was a murder. One of the locals fell out with his neighbour and decided the best way to resolve the dispute was to bury a knife in him and jump on the first bus out of there. It was the talk of the town all week but, I am sad to say it made very little impression on me and I maintain it is probably safer in Ngaramtoni than in most areas of London. Coming form a city where it is impossible to pick up a newspaper without reading about a shooting, stabbing or violent mugging I actually feel relatively safe around here!

I am now roughly half way through my time in Tanzania and the place is growing on me. I am even contemplating writing a glowing reference for Arusha on the Lonely Planet/Rough Guide web sites which will be a in stark contrast to most of the comments about the place. It really is a fairly nice town and I fail to understand why everybody gives Arusha such a hard time.

Must dash now my G&T has arrived.

*It is currently rainy season.
**Completely devoid of any furniture but spacious enough to throw a good party in.

P.s. Here's a picture of a smiling orphan for you at one of the partner projects I visited this week.

 

"In the fight between you and the world, back the world." Frank Zappa

I write this from the (dis)comfort of my hotel room.

Yes, the world has conspired to scupper my best laid plans and I am yet to make it to my new home. I am told that a taxi will be here to pick me up in one hour but, I am not holding my breath.... I have no idea where my new family live or who they are but, I do know they are somewhere just outside the city/town of Arusha.

The aid projects in Ngaramtoni have really started moving along now and despite the very slow pace of things out here I believe (don't quote me on this!) that all the businesses I am trying to start will be up and running by the end of this week.

I am told the rainy season is ending now and that the temperature will start to rise drastically in June. It is already warm enough here, as far as I am concerned, and I don't think I have encountered any buildings, bar the 4 top hotels here, that have air-conditioning so I am not looking forward to the sweat-inducing season just around the corner. The locals are wearing jumpers and coats at the moment with the average temperature being at least 26 degrees which for them is cold. I can tell you with great authority that deodorant is not something Tanzanians use a great deal which I know will make the already cramped and smelly bus journeys, I have to take no more cramped but, a lot more odorous once it starts really hotting up here. Joy.

Baring no relevance at all to today's post I leave you with a picture of a couple of new friends and the view from my hotel;

P.s. Did I mention I have found a golf course!

Mourning has broken

It looks like my stint in hotel accommodation is over and I will be placed with another Tanzanian family tomorrow which, I am sure, will be another culturally broadening experience.

Since I last posted I have been urinated on by monkeys, (with an attempted but, unsuccessful, poohing thrown in for good measure) played a cracking round of golf and seen a large underground birthing chamber constructed by a dog (see pictures).

Tomorrow I will be buying materials to make chicken coops and stock for some of the businesses I am trying to get off the ground. I remain slightly frustrated at the slow pace at which things move out here but, I have an amazing solution that cures all these problems..... beer!

"Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all." William Goldman.

Today's post is devoted to the very sad passing of the father in the house I have been living in.

I write this from my hotel room which will be my home for the next few days at least...

Normal service will resume after a short period of mourning.

A day in the life...

08:30 : Wake up as eldest son in house blares out African pop music.
08:31 : Contemplate how upset this unexpected alarm call makes me.
08:32 : Back to sleep.
09:00 : Extremely annoying ring tone-alarm goes off.
09:05 : Collect water for shower, shower, shave etc., etc....
09:45 : Leave house to catch daladala (see previous posts for more detailed description of over crowded death trap/bus).
09:46-10:00 : Walk to main road with dozens of people, young and old, constantly reminding you that you are white (in case you forget I suppose?).
10:30 : Arrive on Sokoine Rd. (central Arusha).
10:30-11:30 : Buy Indian made football (rip-off at £22.50!!!!!). Meet former volunteer from *remand centre and current volunteer. Arrive at remand centre after short walk from town centre.
11:31-13:30 : Meet Governor of remand centre and the current residents. Talk about how life could be better for all concerned and persuade fellow volunteer she should spend some time in the prison fantastic teaching environment.
13:31-16:00 : Walk back to central Arusha to posh hotel, buy beer, sit by pool and contemplate how terrible life is for some people. Meet more volunteers and talk about how to improve life for aforementioned 'some people'.
16:00-16:30 : Walk to office, meet more charity workers, go to local street bar to drink more beer and discuss how lucky we are and how nice beer is, ways to give beer to the poor and transfer luck.
16:31-17:00 : Witness car pull up, two distressed men being forced out of the car into the back of the very bar I am sitting in. Listen to two grown men cry and beg whilst being physically beaten.
17:01-17:30 : Pretend it's not happening. Watch one of the current assailants go back to the car and produce specially prepared instruments of torture to further beat victims with. Listen to further beatings being administered and try not listen to, assumed, cries for mercy.
17:31-18:30 : Learn from waitress that two men being beaten were thieves and this is 'local justice'. Discuss merits of such a justice system and what it might bring to the UK. Get taxi, head home.
18:31-Present : Buy water from local kiosk. Talk with loved ones. Write blog...

*A secure unit where either prisoners, already serving their terms are held but, more commonly, where those still awaiting trial are contained.

Trumpet in a herd of elephants; crow in the company of cocks; bleat in a flock of goats.

I've been trying to go native but, as I have probably mentioned before, it is very hard to convince anybody here that you are anything but, a Western tourist, who needs to be relieved of their money as quickly as humanly possible, and blending in is not really an option.

My host family took me to a goat restaurant last night and the eldest daughter led me directly to the kitchen, past dozens of pairs of curious eyes all wandering what the Mzungu is doing in their favourite eatery, so I could choose the meat for myself...

Not exactly the Ritz but, then I never thought it would be and by god, it tasted great!